Conversations With Al McFarlane - Healing Stories

Speaker 0 00:00 <inaudible> Speaker 1 00:18 When you're ready to get to a better place. Old national bank is here to help make it happen with a variety of mortgage options and lenders ready to work with you. Your home ownership dreams can become a reality. Plus as world's most ethical company recognized by the Ethisphere Institute every year since 2012 old national will always make sure your needs come first. See how we can help at an old machinal.com/mortgage subject to credit approval, equal housing lender member F D I C. Speaker 2 00:54 You're alive in five or Speaker 2 01:03 Good morning. I'm Al McFarlane. Welcome to the Monday morning edition of conversations with Al McFarlane. On Monday mornings, we try to bring together leaders of the community, talking about the community. You're talking about our issues, our ideas, our voices, our strengths, and the challenges we face as well. I'm pleased today to have as guest I'll do a, uh, uh, do a Pew. She's the board chair of the Jordan area, community council jackets called and, uh, Jack has a wonderful program that is responsive to the challenges we're looking at right now in our community. What are they, obviously we're dealing with the COVID-19, obviously we're dealing with the impact of the trauma of the death, the murder of a brother, uh, George Floyd, obviously we're dealing with the, uh, economic impact, both from covet 19, shutting our businesses down and from businesses being stressed. Uh, in some cases, you know, closed, burned, uh, in some cases, looted, uh, because of the uprising, the anger that came out of communities, uh, at the, uh, in response to this injustice that everybody was feeling. So we want to talk about that today. We've got white mothers to join us as well. They may join us in the course of the conversation, but I want to begin with, um, I do a few odd with thank you for being here. Good morning. And how are you? Speaker 3 02:36 Good morning. And I am very well. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Speaker 2 02:41 Well, thank you so much from here. Thanks to Jack. Let me say, first of all, so we will know it. This is the disclosure insight exists. Insight news exists because of Jack because of Hawthorne and, and wondering what organization we started this newspaper, this business almost 30 years ago, maybe it's more than that. This is 1974. What is that? 76 is that 40 years ago, right? That's when we started it, when we started it with the advertising support of Jack of Hawthorne and of, uh, Willard Homewood and, and, uh, North side residents, redevelopment council. So I'm indebted and grateful to the Jac community for launching this entrepreneur. Now with that gift people, first of all, uh, a up date that Jack one Oh one. Talk about the organization, for example. Speaker 3 03:37 Well, from where I sit Jack, wouldn't be Jack without Kathy span. Um, Kathy span is the executive director. Andrea Huber is her assistant and the board, uh, we support Cathy span and her visions. And so, um, you know, Jack does, uh, the safety meetings. We have our board meetings and we have housing meetings, but with everything that is going on, Kathy fan always wants to go out and do something different. What else can we do? And how can we help? Because everybody helps in their all way. Everybody has their own gifts and talents that some people may be fine with protesting that may be work for them, but there are people, other people have other gifts. And so what we talked about and discuss is how can Jack out help? And so what we came up with together as a unit is healing. How can we focus on healing, not just for current situations, but because black people suffer from historical trauma, we deal with that. And what's going on now because it's all connected and related. Speaker 2 04:50 Let's talk about that. So you've got a formal program called healing stories, dealing stories. What is, what is it, what does it mean? What does it do? Speaker 3 04:58 So not only am I the board chair for Jordan airy community council, but I also am the founder and executive director of an organization called off the blue couch. And I can get back to off the blue couch, but let's talk about healing stories. So heal is one of the initiatives that I'm off the blue couch has his healing circles. Um, and you, we all know what a healing circle is. Traditionally. It comes from the indigenous community where they form a circle and they have powwows and different things that their community itself comes together to heal each other heal itself. And this is the same premise. Um, and so healing stories is also, the stories is not just stories, but it's the acronym for sharing the truth of our reality in every sentence, because as individuals, what we have to do is control the narrative, which means control our own stories. So we can't allow anybody else to be our voice. We have to be the of ourselves. And so to identify, to get other people, to understand what it is that each of us, I feel it internally because healing begins with you. And when you think about going to therapy, that's what therapists do you go to the therapist, you talk to them, and then they give you tools to use to help improve yourself, because how can you help others if it doesn't start with you. Speaker 2 06:22 And so, uh, talk about your organization, uh, off the blue couch. And now off the blue couch then has become a resource for Jack and creating this, uh, healing stories, initiative. Speaker 3 06:36 All the blue couch started because first of all, I'm a recovered drug user. Um, and I identify as a recovered drug user. Um, and some people identify as addicts. I don't, I, I realized that I wasn't addicted. Um, I have addictive personality, but I wasn't addicted to the drug. The drug was not the cause my issues was the cause the drug was, the drug was a cover to help me deal with what I was going through. So I've been clean from drugs and alcohol for 16 years. And I'm grateful for that. Um, I'm truly grateful for that. Um, and healing, um, off the blue couch gave me a platform to be able to tell my story, but not only have I been recovered from drugs and alcohol because drugs wasn't, my drug was not the initial drug of choice. Alcohol was my drug of choice. Alcohol clicks to the user of the smoking, the cocaine piece. So they became one in the same for me. So I couldn't do one without the other. But in that I had to understand that the drug was the substance, the issues lied in me. Speaker 3 07:56 So I was working towards figuring that out. And my relationship with God helped me with that. But what happened to me in 2017 was the big catalyst to the healing piece for me. So in 2017, may 15, 2017, which is my son's birthday. I died for 10 minutes. I wanted to cardiac arrest and God saw fit to bring me back. So I had what's called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy and they had to shock my heart three times, one for the father, one for the song, one for the Holy spirit and brought me back, God saw fit to bring me back so that Speaker 2 08:35 During drug use or drug drugs, Speaker 3 08:37 No, no, no, no, no. I've been clean. I've been clean for 13 years, but I suffered from chronic pain. And so as suffering from chronic pain, because I suffered from chronic pain, um, I usually, I wasn't using pain meds at the time because of my drug use. I was afraid to use any type of famous. So when you go to the doctor, the only thing they, they throw opioids edge because what people don't know at the Tylenol and ibuprofen, there is nothing else, but an opioid great people. I learned that I didn't know that. And so I went, I was going to the doctor to get shots. I was going to the hospital to get shots on what I call crisis pain days. And when, when the humidity and the dewpoint is high on my body, everything on me hurts except for my head. I don't have a headache, but I feel like my body feels like I have a two thing. Speaker 3 09:30 So in that particular day, I went to North Memorial to get a tore down shot. Toradol is like taking five ibuprofens, but in liquid form and it didn't happen that way. I never did get it. And I ended up going into cardiac arrest. Um, and I'm just, I'm gonna just leave that right there. Cause that could be a whole story in itself. But when I came back because I have, I have here, I have a, I named her Barbara and so I have a disabling. So I had to learn how, because what I had was Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, Takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Cardiomyopathy is not stressing your life is stressing the moment. So what happened was, is I was already stressed. I was already stressed and the lack of being hurt tipped me over the top. That's my belief. So I have to learn how to learn, how to calm, calm myself, myself. Speaker 3 10:33 So I had to learn tools. So I went to therapy and therapy is taboo for us in the black community. Cause you know, we don't want the white folks in our business. Um, but there, I went to therapy to learn tools. And my doctor introduced me to a platform called healing collaborative, which only dealt with people, deal having medical conditions. So once I did heal the story collaborative and that was only dealing with medical issues. So I'm talking to them and I'm like, what about historical trauma and the black community and people of color. We need to talk about this. People need to be able to get it out because that's the root of what's going on with us. This was years ago. So they didn't, they still focus on that. So I'm like, okay, off the blue couch is going to do this and deal with historical and current Trump. But I had to start with dealing with myself in order for me to be better. See what I've come to learn is as there's a place in the time and the Bible talks about it for everything. And I needed a time to heal for myself because I can't overreact in every situation and that's what I was doing. Um, so it makes you come, you think? And so what we have to do sometimes is we have to pause, Speaker 0 11:57 Okay. Speaker 3 11:57 And take a breath. Cause they teach you breathing techniques in therapy too. Because what we do is people is we take breath for granted that it's just old to us. It's not Speaker 0 12:07 <inaudible> Speaker 3 12:10 And it's all rooted from historical stuff in the epigenetics and this whole big thing. But one thing you could do is identify what's going on with yourself and what you need to do for you to make you a better person and utilize the tools that's there. It's stop and take a breath because I had to learn with, if you just think about it, if you angry and you are your car driving, right? You miss your turn and be like, I missed my turn. You know why? Because you can't, you're not thinking rationally because you upset. So you have to stop, take a pause and breathe and say, okay, wait a minute. What do I need? And that's what hearing stories is, is in the midst of everything that's happening right now with George Florida and the backlash of Georgia because George Ford Steph was the catalyst to things that needed to happen all the time. Speaker 3 13:01 But in that as people, what we do is we keep going and we keep going and keep going. But this is an opportunity for us to pause and take a breath and do self care and see what's going on with us as an individual to identify that, to be intentional and I behaviors and identified what's going on with us because sometimes what's going on with us, we put it off on other stuff. That's why we keep going and going, boy, this is to take a pause, take a breath and allow us to continue to move forward. Speaker 2 13:34 So Ottawa, you know, as you're speaking, I'm just feeling this vibration, this energy, and you've put your finger on it in reference to George Floyd, you're saying greed stop. And he's reminding us, cause he's saying I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Right. And that's the story that you're saying that we all have to recognize and realize and do something about right now in this moment. And in every moment for health, I happened to listen to another show up on a public radio a few days ago. I don't remember what it was, but the takeaway from the show was that we underrate and we take for granted what you just said, breathing and the breathing itself was probably the best exercise we can do if we learn to breathe deeply, breathe with intentionality, right? Not just, you know, taking my breath and not being aware of conscious of it, but you can develop and fine tune an awareness of the power of every single breath, breathe with intention, with every inhale and every acceleration. And then you are getting the best possible exercise. You have that to build on other exercises that move your body, your mind and your spirit for health and healthfulness. That's what I've been hearing. It's wonderful to have this conversation with you Speaker 3 15:02 Because can I say this athlete, because what happens is, is when you breathe, you get your late release carbon dioxide and you breathe in oxygen, which helps your heart and your body function. And it gets to your brain because without oxygen to your brain, guess what you bring then Speaker 2 15:21 That's right. Yeah. That's uh, I'm Al McFarlane. This is conversations with element front and our Monday edition. And we use this to connect with members and leaders and community to talk about community concerns. We have the fortune and the pleasure to be connecting with the board chair for Jordan area, community council, uh, with the County Jack JCC. Uh, and Jack is one of the historic, uh, uh, leadership neighborhood organizations in North Minneapolis led by a board chair, uh, are do a Pew and managing director CEO, uh, Kathy span a powerhouse in her own, right? And by anybody and everybody just information, a person who's online, who's alive and I'm fired all the time, Speaker 3 16:11 All class Speaker 2 16:12 All the time. So, uh, glad to have you here. So you all are doing an event. Let me put the slide up. I'm going to share this slide. Uh, and we can talk about this event again. I don't want to come back and talk about use the more I enjoy telling stories and listening to stories. And you're the perfect person, because you're all about stories, right? And the power of story. So this is going to be wonderful. Let me share this with you first. Let me pull my screen up and you can talk about the events. I'm going to do a share screen, and now we should have a, uh, let's see, top. Speaker 3 16:45 I have, I have one right here. Speaker 2 16:48 You know how to share it? Can you share it? Speaker 3 16:49 No, I'm saying I have it right here. Speaker 2 16:51 Okay. Just, just hold it up. You mean? Okay. That works. That's fine. That works. Yeah. Go ahead Speaker 3 16:57 Until you, until you can figure it out. I could do that if you like, why don't you do that? Yeah, you did. Speaker 2 17:09 Yeah. And, uh, but talk about the event again. Speaker 3 17:12 Okay. So in talking to Cathy again, can't do anything, um, with, uh, without talking to Kathy span, because Kathy span is she knows, knew that there was something else that needs to have it up. I think if you have it yet and it's fine. Yeah. It look, your grandson is not there. Um, and so we decided that on Thursdays for, um, we didn't want to do, and because of COVID, there is, um, usually I have to steal social distance. Um, and so, and in the ordinance that has been passed through the covenant where you're only supposed to have a gathering of 10 people or more, and we have totally been violating that. Um, but it's covert is real. And, um, I don't, I want to respect that and follow directions. So we can't just do one. So what we decided is to have for right now, and we are Adam if needed, but for the next four, Thursdays from five 30 to seven, that we will have healing stories and, um, Jordan Park, uh, healing circles in Jordan Park. Speaker 3 18:29 Um, and it's a free event, but you have to weigh your mass, understanding the healing begins with you. And so from every Thursday, from July 11th to, I mean, from June 11th to July 2nd, we will be in Jordan Park from five 30 to seven, where your mass is a free event, but you have to register on Eventbrite. So the links are on the Jac Facebook page, the all blue off the blue couch, Facebook page, my Facebook page. And I believe it's going to be on next door and it's on, uh, I am not. So we're asking everybody to register because we don't want to be overcrowded with people. Um, so, and then we can keep count on how many people is invited. And then if it filled up that week, then come the next week and we're going to keep it going. So we can still be mindful and intention intentional of following ordinances, because how can we, one of the things that I still like is how can we, um, ask for rules and laws and want to follow if we want to follow him ourselves Speaker 2 19:40 <inaudible> so tell me how that works. Then the person comes, they register, you come and you invite them to tell their story. What is that? Like? What do you say? How did they respond? How does the story unfold? Speaker 3 19:53 So we, we're going to start with cleansing this. So we've got to start with smudging and you smudging is, you know, as much as it's the indigenous, Oh, I'm sorry. It's the indigenous I'm looking. I would thought, Ooh, I thought the shell was right here. So smudging is, um, is an indigenous tradition, um, where you have Sage, you burn Sage and you cleanse yourself from head to toe each individual person. And I love it. It is so freeing and it clear, it works. It clears the space. It does. Speaker 2 20:33 So I've been to an event. I was at mystic Lake, I think when they dedicated that. And I think Dennis crooks was there. He was the, the president or chief of the, um, mystic Lake, uh, Dakota community dedicating that facility. And they had someone walk through the crowd with a handful of Sage smoke and kind of, Speaker 3 20:59 Yep. Yep. So that's yeah, that's called smudging and it is the, it relieves the tension. So it's everybody doing that. We also have one where, um, you can, it, cause it starts with the breathing. So as the, the becoming aware of yourself, so you use that or you can, we can, you can use lotion, stress lotion, but it's all about the relaxing, like, you know, almost, and the smelling and the breathing in and becoming aware and the breathing out and become a one with yourself to open up yourself and open up your mind to be able to receive and release what it is that you need to do. And it's also an it's kind of looking for direction and what you want to say. And it just gives you a moment to care for yourself and become one with you, God who, your higher power, whatever you, you understand what I'm saying and that's how it opens up. And then we go into, um, the plan is to go into, and for those that want to talk, and I was thinking about, cause it has to be a timeframe because it's only, um, hour and a half. So I thought about the time allotment and we had said seven to 10 minutes, but I thought about the limit is going to be eight minutes and 48 seconds. Speaker 2 22:27 Uh, there we go. Yup. Speaker 3 22:31 And then we'll close with the, with the exercise, we'll have journals and give tools to, um, and of course they're going to be guidelines or rules and we pass those out at the beginning because we have to be mad for respectful of not interrupted people, but giving them that their platform to control the narrative of their own story, Speaker 2 22:52 Uh, that notion of eight minutes and 43 seconds. Is that what it is? 48 seconds. Yeah. That's powerful. I watched, uh, Reverend Sharpton and the service they had here. And then, uh, you know, my wife and I stood and, and, uh, uh, sort of held hands and hugged while we watched that eight minutes and 48 second period, it seemed like forever. And then the point is for us to be mindful of how a person could be with his, uh, knee on your neck for that long and how life will leave you as it did with, uh, George Floyd. And so to have the whole world now become conscious and aware of eight minutes and 48 seconds is a wonderful idea. And here you are finding another application using that as a timeframe for how people can share. That's brilliant. I think, you know, a few minutes ago too, before we started, they were members of, um, uh, Nancy Pelosi and members of the house where we're all at and members of the Senate, we're all wearing, uh, Democrats wearing kente cloths and having some discussion about the, uh, George, uh, Floyd, uh, issue murder and the reform this needed. Speaker 2 24:21 And what they said is that they intended to during this program, uh, take a pause for silence for eight minutes and 48 seconds. I think that's a great thing. It's a great idea. And I think the more we think that way and do that, it burns this, uh, knowledge into our minds and spirits and messed up, lets us reflect on this injustice and, uh, just the horrific nature of, uh, of this murder that we're now traumatized by. So let me talk to you, uh, Adula about your story. Again, you started with the, I often ask my guests to talk about, um, who they are and why they have become who they are. And when I asked the question, I generally am thinking about, uh, you know, who your ancestors to the degree that, you know, um, you know, where's your mom, your great grands Gregory grants. How much do you know about your history and how much are you aware of what the genealogy is that flows into you that creates this moment? And I also talk about the, uh, my sense that the moment that you and I are in is actually the gateway to eternity that everything else passes through this moment. So in that spirit, I asked you, who are you? Where have you come from? And where are you going? Speaker 3 25:47 Okay. So, um, my great grandmother, great grandmother is a, was a freed slave. So if she was a freed slave, that means she was a slave. Um, and then my fi family, um, moved to Cairo, Illinois, and they're from Cairo, Illinois, the first place, um, in Chicago and Chicago where a black family could own homes was in the Morgan park and make the park area. So my family moved my grandmother, um, and her children, she had 13 children gave him, she birthed 13 children, but only Natalie lived. Um, and my grandmother is the oldest girl of the nine. Um, and we'll, I grew up in Chicago. I lived in Chicago for first time. I heard about Minnesota was, was 17. I moved here and I went back and forth a couple of different times, but I I'm an only child. Um, my mother is an only child. Um, and so that had its challenges. Um, and my mother, what I've come to learn about parenting and in my mother is that if parents are parents raise you with the information that they have, Speaker 3 27:13 If the information is limited, that's what you get is, is it good or bad? No, it's just the information that we have. And I'm grateful that the foundation that I have and my mother, um, that I, I have that I was looking because I was an only child. I didn't have any brothers, sisters. I felt like I had nobody to relate to. So, um, I had my eye turned to alcohol. Um, I drank quite, I started drinking real early. Um, I want to say I was 10 when I started drinking. I really, I was just, yeah, but no, no. I started smoking weed marijuana when I was 10. I started drinking when I was 12 and I started smoking cigarettes when I was 13. Okay. Because that's what I saw. Okay. Um, and so I'm going to be cool, you know, like everybody else. Um, and I was suffering from pain myself because I'm an only child. So everybody else had brothers and sisters and I didn't. Um, and then we had other kind of issues in our family. Um, so to cover that up, I drank alcohol, which then led to me smoking rock cocaine. I started smoking crack cocaine in my twenties. I was 22. I want to say. And that wasn't, my intention was never to get hooked. I was just messing around, you know, and me and my cousin had a conversation, Marsha Warfield, who played rise on night court. That's my cousin. Speaker 3 28:50 And we were talking about drug use and she said, don't nobody want to grow up and say, they want to be a drug addict. It's like walking into, to a bar in 1979 and walking out 20 years later and saying, I'm ready to go home. Now. Some people don't walk out. Some people die in it. But what I knew is that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And so I never wanted to do it. Like I said, I never wanted to use in the first place. I was just stuck and didn't know how to get out. And I sat there for 15 years on that bar stool, Speaker 3 29:30 Figuratively. I sat on that bar stool for 15 years and I said, enough is enough. And one day, and I would, I would pray. And I would ask God, so release me from what I was going through. So now I'm stupid. Now listen to me clear. So remember I said, drugs and alcohol went hand in hand for me, cause I'm praying. And I'm asking God, every time I pick up that pipe, I'm hitting the pipe and I'm praying God, please deliver me from this fleet. And he's taking it away. So I started throwing up cause I'm drinking this alcohol and I'm throwing up. And after about a year, my insides was raw from constantly going, smoking, drinking, and bringing it back up. My insides was wrong, burning. And then it hit me dummy. You asking God to release you from it. He's releasing you, but you keep putting it back in stupid stop. Speaker 3 30:36 And my insides was wrong. I couldn't drink pop. I still to this day don't report because of that, because all the regurgitation, it was 10 of them in sense. So I realized that it wasn't. So I called at the time, God for me was on my, my youngest daughter's grandmother's balcony in the space between the trees. So I call my daughter's grandmother. Tell me that again. Say that again. Oh, God was, God was on my granddaughter's balcony and my grandma, my, my daughter's grandmother's balcony. That's what that was for me in the space between the trees. Okay. Okay. So that's what I said. And so, but it was always a space between the trees is where I talked to God. So what I realized is that when I looked in the places that I had lived in my life and the space between the trees, it was always a space between the trees. Speaker 3 31:41 And that's where I sat when I wanted to talk to God. So at that time it was at my daughter's grandmother's house and my past, like, you know, a place I lived, it was a, in my house, it was a space in between the trees where I talked to God. So the space, which God was in the space between the trees, he wasn't here, he was there. Okay. So I called, um, my daughter's grandmother and I asked her to, um, come and pick me up. I didn't tell her why. I just asked her a couple of vignette. And the first place I went was on her balcony. Cause I needed to talk to God. And I stayed there for, I stayed there for a week before I told her why I was there. And when I told her, she said, what as good? Cause she knew I used, she knew I used drugs. Speaker 3 32:36 And so she said, well, you can stay as long as you, like I said, okay. So on the 10th day, God said, you can go home now. And I said, Oh, okay. So I went in and I told her, I said, I'm ready to go home. She said, are you sure? I said, yeah. So when I got home, I had a drawer. My, you know, everybody has a drunk drawer in the house. So in my house, my junk drawer was in my bedroom. And this drawer, I had been wanting to clean out this drawer for three years and I never did. But that day that was the first thing I did. Speaker 3 33:13 And I was going through that drawer and I found mail. I found all kinds of stuff and I was tearing stuff up. I felt pipes. I felt pushes. I saw Shaw boy. I felt all the tools that I use to get. And I took those products, put them in sandwich bags and stepped on them. That's when I knew I was, the guy was working. Cause I was able to do that without a problem. And now I started cleaning my house. But what I realized after I did all of that is that I couldn't clean it away. I had to get out of that space because that's where I got high. So I talked to my age and it was all around me. So I talked to my landlord and after some struggles, he allowed me to get out my list and I was able to move. Speaker 3 34:01 And from then on, I'm gonna say it has not been easy, but it has been easier. And once I got past the three month Mark and then the year Mark and then the five year Mark at that time, I was being delivered from it. Because even when I tell my story right now, I feel ill. And my stomach, I feel, I feel ill. Anytime. I think about drinking alcohol or smoking crack or use the drug, not what people do, do what you do. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about me is that it makes me ill. And so in my house I had a blue couch. That's where I get high. So when I went to ended up going to school, I'm on board, fast forward. I started going to school and to that January, 2012, and I went to North Hennepin community college and I did well. I was commencement speaker. I was valedictorian commencement speaker. I won all the awards, all the scholarships. I rocked that school, not alone. I had a support system and I talked about telling my story was talking about off the blue couch. That led to me continuing to tell my story, how I was in a NSCC magazine on how I got off the blue couch. Speaker 3 35:30 I wanted to start a nonprofit some years ago and it was going to be a transitional housing for helping women call, accomplished to be. But I realized that I'm not equipped to do none of that. That's a learning yourself. So then I said, after I, uh, the me dying, God bring it Sanford to bring me back. I started the nonprofit off the blue couch in November of 2017. And that was to have helped promote healing and, um, dealing with current and historical trauma in different ways to make the app Speaker 2 36:08 What a wonderful and powerful story. I'm so glad to meet you to know you, to talk to you so glad to hear your testimony. This was inspiring and encouraging, and that's what we need. That's the power of a story right there. You just laid it out and it's a wonderful thing. And so how do you navigate where we are as a community right now? Uh, we were dealing with, uh, Jordan and Hawthorne, North Minneapolis. We've been dealing with the opioid crisis teams around that. That's one issue. Uh, we, before that we're dealing with the question of gang violence and youth gangs, especially in Jordan, Jordan neighborhood was the center of a lot of activity for a long time. Then we went from there to dealing with COVID-19 right? And the COVID-19 was set in a backdrop of historical, uh, health disparities, and other social indicators. Speaker 2 37:11 They call them a thing. Not only is there a disparity in health outcomes, there's a disparity in educational outcomes for black people in the spirit key and home ownership and wealth disparity and business disparity and, um, uh, access to capital for businesses. Uh, and so we've got this whole ecosystem that places us at a disadvantage and that inside of the historical trauma that our country refuses to address. And that is the original sin, the enslavement of black and Brown bodies and the country refuses to discuss that, to look at it and to admit its role historically, or to admit that today is inextricably bound to the yesterday. And then yesterday was the scene of the crime, the crime, the steaming, some of the crime has never disappeared. It's still the scene of the crab and when it gets filled the victims of it and all the things that we experienced in a disfunction malfunction, um, I think, uh, in, uh, things that sociologist will say our imperfections are in us are simply reflections of a systemic arrangement that is timed to have us believe that we are the problem. Speaker 2 38:36 Well, the problem walks around saying, Oh, we're so lucky in an America. Great. You know, but now we are voicing our point of view. I think it's a wonderful thing. So I say all that to ask you, how do you see on the community level, us navigating our way through the horrific, um, uh, experience, uh, the eight minutes and 49 seconds that we all watched on social media and, and that as a horror in and of itself for that one human being that's number one, but that is also symbolic of our entire existence in this country. How do we navigate that from your point of view? Where are we and where do we go? Speaker 3 39:30 I think the first thing is for us to identify that, Speaker 0 39:34 Okay, Speaker 3 39:35 Our roles, because everybody has different gifts and talents that they have. So we have to, we want to, okay, first let's understand that change and transition is two separate things. We always say, we want change. We want change. Often blue couch has a whole workshop about it. The difference between change and transition changes, immediate transition is what we're going through. Now we keep saying, we want change. We want change. No, we want transition. We have to identify that first because once we understand the definition and the power of words, then we can, we're doing something. So that's first. Then we understand to understand that everybody has a gift and a talent that is different. Some people protest, some people work behind the scenes and putting things together. Some people have to plan. Some people have to work on data. Some people, you know, we have to, we have to have all these different moving parts in order for us to come together. Speaker 3 40:37 One person is not the voice for the whole black community because here's the deal is that all of us feel as black people, we all feel the foot on our necks because we're black people, but there's different levels of that feeling. The other thing is that because of the face or our geographical location, in which we were raised, we all have a different view and a different skew. So we have to be silent and breathe in order to be able to open I here, to be able to open our ears and mind, to be able to hear what the other person is saying and what we do as people we talk over each other, instead of we don't talk to be heard. We talk to talk Speaker 0 41:22 <inaudible>. Speaker 3 41:25 So we have to get to a point where we can start hearing each other, which again, it goes back to the, learn the techniques in order to be able to breathe, because that's why that's what started this. Like you said, him not being able to breathe, but if we don't breathe ourselves and allow time to hear other people and listen to what they're saying, we're ultimately doing to ourselves, to each other and our community. Well, we're asking the white people not to do to us. Speaker 0 41:56 <inaudible> Speaker 3 41:57 So we have to be able to come together as a unit and understand that it's different point of view, worldviews, be able to breathe, listen, and take that and come up with something that will work because what works in Jordan and go work at Hawthorne. But if the foundation is laid that each community can build upon that foundation to make what works in their community. We have to do that. And it's, this is not something that's going to happen overnight. It's all going to be a process. And if we don't do something to that effect, we're going to, we're going to get in each other's way and we're going to get an a always, and we going to shoot ourself in the foot when an act is crawling up my leg. And that's just the truth. Speaker 2 42:44 Hmm. So let me just close with this. Let me ask you to look in your mind's eye and, uh, give me a picture of what you see about the future. Uh, here's what I think you're going to say, not going to be wrong, but I'm, I'm, I'm trying to pick up this conversation. I think you're going to say something like, uh, the future is actually right now that you'll acknowledge the presence of this moment as the, uh, ingredient, whatever we're doing right now is the core ingredient for any possibility, for any future. So that's why, uh, the moment is very important. There is no future without an acknowledgement of what we have, what we are, who we are, where we are, uh, and what we're doing right now. But let's just say, you know, let's look at intent and desire. What do you envision for, uh, our people five, 10, a hundred years from now a hundred years after you and I have left, uh, this plane of existence, uh, what's the legacy and what's the potential, Speaker 3 43:55 That's the system in which we know Speaker 0 43:58 Yeah. Speaker 3 44:00 Is different. If we can't read, okay. The constitution. Yes. It's a beautiful work of art, but the, it does not fit the time in which we live right now, documents like that have to be a living document. Speaker 0 44:25 Okay. Speaker 3 44:26 If it's not a living document, then it, we take what then and apply it to now. And that's why it's not working yet. So what we have to do I believe is because what happens now, like you said, it's going to affect our future. The decisions that we make now, just like the decisions that they made then is affecting us. Now, it was going to continue to repeat itself. We have to rebuild the system that we know. And in order for that to happen, it has to be several voices at the table, willing to hear each other and listen, to put that together. If not everything is gonna fall apart, I'm actually afraid to, I'm going to be honest. I'm actually afraid of what the future holds. Um, if we don't start hearing and listening to one another and taking a moment to breathe and going from one thing to the next to the next, I'm actually afraid. Speaker 3 45:33 But what I would like for us to do is to try to start healing, not come. You don't have to come to our healing circle, but go to somebodies healing, circle somebody to come in, identify within yourself what it is that makes you, you, and how is that being put into the world? Because we have to be intentional on the way we treat people and people see us. And if that doesn't happen, I'm afraid of what the future is going to be. If we try to work together and not grandstand, I guess, and we work together. So think about what's best for everyone in the community as a whole. I think we'll be on to something. That's what I think. Speaker 2 46:27 I agree. I agree with you that, um, uh, healing comes from sharing the truth of our reality. Every sentence, sharing the truth of our reality in every sentence that says so much, it says that everything you say, every breath you emit and that you take is critical, important, necessary. And what you must find the courage to do is to share the truth of our reality in every sentence, every word you say, every thought you have tell the truth. This has been a wonderful conversation. Uh, I'm Alan McFarlane. This is conversations with Elvin in my Monday session. And it's a session that I bring community elders and activists and leaders and neighbors. And just to talk about what's on our minds and to have what I call robust conversations is certainly a fitting that bill. I'm so grateful to the neighbors and friends and leaders that Jack Jordan area, community council, uh, Kathy span for leadership going to work in her team. Speaker 2 47:42 And for you, uh, do a Pew, uh, for being the board chair. And for this initiative that you all are launching the Jac as launching. It starts this Thursday, June 11th, and goes every Thursday til July 2nd. It's at Jordan Park. Jordan Park is a 29 27 Irving Avenue North, uh, on the North side here at five o'clock to 7:00 PM. It's a free event, but outdoors event, but masks are required and you have to register you register through event, right? You can go to the Jordan, a website or a Facebook page to get the details. If you have questions you can call, uh, the, um, uh, either Jordan or blue couch off the blue couch at Gmails email address, but you can call this number at (612) 807-5637 (612) 807-5637. And at the end of the day, uh, if you're not active in Jordan or in your neighborhood now is the time these are your instructions. Speaker 2 48:51 These are your marching orders. Get involved with your neighbors in your neighborhood. Uh, let your voice be the voice of progress of reason, the voice of truth. Well, Aqua, thank you so much. Thank you for being here. And if you're listed and you like this kind of conversation, uh, on social media wants you to like it and to share it, you can subscribe to us on YouTube. These programs are being presented as summaries daily summaries, uh, at Kay FAI on our, uh, podcast channel. Uh, you can get it wherever you get your favorite podcasts. They're also being presented as television programs on SP in N in st. Paul and on MTN television in Minneapolis. We're also writing stories, uh, about these interviews there. Our objective is to use all the tools, all of the platforms at our disposal to tell our story. We believe that we have a right enough, the obligation to change the narrative, the narrative that we create as a narrative in which we, when does winning mean somebody has to lose. Speaker 2 49:58 Absolutely not. Uh, our version of winning is everybody can win and we create a place that recognizes the decency and the dignity of every human being that recognizes our relationship to, um, to the environment, to, to animals, right, to, to plants, uh, to minerals, uh, the connectedness and the sacredness of all that exists. Well, uh, we could go on and on and we will. I'm Alan McFarlane. We'll see you next time. We'll be here tomorrow. As a matter of fact, at one o'clock, uh, join us then, uh, Wednesday at one o'clock Thursday, one o'clock Friday with doctors and physicians, members of the national medical association, uh, having these conversations to be with us and share like, uh, and, um, subscribe at YouTube. We'll see you next time. Thank you. I'll go. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Okay.